Category Archives: writer’s journey

Deadlines Update

Today my second deadline is up – well, I still have some hours to go.

14-02-2011: I had to get the general outline of the story and working title. I have done that. I know where the story is leading and the title is still the same as the old working title.

28-02-2011: By today I had to finish a full two episode. I am happy because I’ve done that. I’ve written the Prologue, the First and Second Chapter. This is a great achievement. I am still editing the second chapter, but all in all I am elated about the progress. Before the end of the day I want to finish the episode on the mountain.

I hope to make this progress on monthly basis, that will sure make me finish the total book by August ;). That would be perfect.

One thing I keep on doing is editing constantly. I guess that’s a good mechanism. Fingers cross.

T.I.

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Book Reseach Part 1

It is painful to do the research for my book, especially in this period because I am feeling very sad due to many unrelated factors in my life.

The research takes me back to a painful past. To the lies behind how one can lose weight to feel beautiful and elated. To achieve a dream that can never be real no matter how many make up you buy or how many numbers you lose on the scale. The research takes me to a period in which one can read about the disastrous side of bulimia or anorexia but then she or he ignores it because it seems the easiest way to lose the excess weight.

At a time when one felt beautiful because the bones could be felt through the clothes. Mentally free from too much food eating. Feeling fat when the scale was telling you differently. You feel fat, when people thought you were so beautiful.

Like someone might write  you think anorexia or bulimia is out of you life forever. Just wait until you are surprisingly re-introduced to your past demons.

When you recover, people will say “You were so skinny and beautiful when I first saw you.” They will bite their lips for letting those words slip and say “No, I don’t mean you are fat now. You were very beautiful when I first met you!”

The demons will come back to face you gain and tell you they are right your old jeans don’t fit any longer. You are FAT. You are FAT and FAT!

Even the one I love told “You not ugly but you were so beautiful when I first met you.” That statement slip his thought.

He thinks some of his skinny female colleagues are beautiful, what if they are suffering from bulimia or anorexia and they pretend to eat in front of him and then run into the bathroom to vomit?

I am reading some blogs dedicated to people suffering from the illness. Today I was inspired by one of the reader’s story to write a comment. 2Medusa

Dalal, your story has touched me so much. It’s hit home! I can relate because there is a misconception of anorexia/bulimia and race.

You are so, so beautiful and I don’t know who told you you’re not, because YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, you deserve to live without ED.

I’ve been trying to write a story about a Black girl who fell into the trap of ED for so long and your words:

“Oh yeah, and that black girls don’t make themselves throw up. Only white girls do. Well. Here I am – a black girl who created a life to hide the fact that she hates her body – a black girl who can hide behind the fact that black girls don’t do that stuff and who doesn’t know where to go for help other than some random website that made her cry as she read the stories and said to herself…that’s me. That’s me.”

has helped me get back on track and show the world that they are more people out there who need a focus to be able to heal from ED.

I hope you get better soon, because you are brave to share your story; it is a close step to healing.

Thanks for sharing your story again.

That story has shown me that Susannah’s story must be told as soon as possible, because the illness is still destroying some girls and boys’ lives.

I was lucky to come out by myself but I don’t know if Susannah can come out easily like that.

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A Short Play

At the moment I am working on a thirty minute play to send out for a competition on 22nd January.

I hope it works alright.

It was inspired by the guy who died last year in Via Padova, Italy. I set it in Italy 2000. Andit narrates his life before the incident and after the death.

After his death his ghost takes the reader to the events prior to his death.

I hope it’s nice.

Feelings

My heart is full,
I feel like crying. I have many words in my head but I don’t know when I have to sit down and pen them.

I want to write about the girl who due to racial abuse in 1995 falls anorexic. Also I’ve been thinking about the story of a love between two people whom the citizen don’t want them to fall in love.

I would like to write about an article regarding the controversy surrounding the involment of Black Soldiers in the Second World War. I don’t know who to contact for this idea. I am going to write a quick email to the editor of one of my local news papers to see what comes out of that.

The song

The italian song Teorema by Marco Ferradini, explains quite truthfully how a love story function. Most of the times when a woman is loved deeply she wants the other man, the one who brocked her heart more than the one who gives her everything. This is how I feel, the one who I used to love wants me after seven years in which something could have happened; now is me who could jeopardize my beautiful story with the right person for me. I don’t know what to do. Oh, please somebody help me.

Maybe Madness

I just what to be loved,

I know I’m loved

but I need more love.

I wish I could write all my thoughts

without forgetting anything,

but it is impossible.

I want a lot of things

but I don’t know how to achieve them,

I only know that if I put my mind and energy on them,

then I will accomplish them.